Another beginning
Everything is off to a new start. This year seems to be the continuation of a recurrent theme of last year. How do I put it in simplest term... moving on?
Exciting things are already about to happen. My sister is going to venture to Australia again for who knows how long. Does this mean I'm gonna use her car?! Seriously, that was not my first thought. (won't be long until I go visit her anyway) But I've departed with her enough times that we've come to an understanding. Not easier, but a profound respect for the idea of finding where you need to be.
Myself personally, will be journeying to Moose Factory in February for a month. For my fellow Canadian living in Ontario and don't know where that is shame on you. Google it. I'll have more details later.
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Finished Reading...
The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini's first published novel. Now understand that I'm not a reading type. In fact the only magazine I manage to barely read is Marie Claire and textbooks in school when I was forced to. It gives me a headache and I was convinced that I was allergic to reading.
But one day as I was about to sign up for a course in international medicine and reading about current conflict zones, Afghanistan was the first one that came to mind. (just so happened the news was reporting on the honorable Canadian troops who died in Afghan) To fulfill my occasional nerdiness, I decided to educate myself by reading a fictional novel based on the historical context of the country, and Kite Runner was the perfect choice.
I'm not here to make a sounding critique, but may I just say I have never cried reading a book, this one did the trick. Throughout Amir's journey, I really did mourn for the way he carried the guilt of abandoning a friend in need, and the way it was eating away the very essence of his identity over the course of his teenage and adulthood. It didn't leave us with a joyous big screen credit, but it brought a piece of reality so much closer to me than it had ever been. The fact that Amir was given the opportunity to pursue his own redemption was already a happy ending in itself, despite what he had to go through. Because unlike him, his dad (Baba) died ultimately a proud father, yet a tortured soul who had to carry his baggage to the grave. To me, that's what saddens me.
"
... the Kabul we lived in in those days was a strange world, one in which some things mattered more than the truth."
I've just started Hosseini's second novel, A Thousand Splendid Suns.
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Can't sleep...
I like my sleep. I've had some ground breaking record of how long I can sleep for in the past (14+ hours). But not now, my body is fighting me. And you know what's a bigger issue? My sister and I need to get up early tomorrow for our shopping madness of 70% off sale at Costa Blanca. Watch how I'm gonna pull that one off.
Meanwhile I'm slowly and chronically worrying about the next big step in my journey. There really has only been one true dream in my life and it has become more clear how badly I want it. But the feeling of inadequacy seems to stop me from going forward with it. I'm constantly looking to do something else to potentially increase my potential in acheiving this goal. More so I have to ask myself everyday,
why, and what's my
bottom line in wanting to pursuit this? Because somehwere down the road, I will be discouraged, disappointed, or even fail. I need to go back to the beginning, my bottom line.
To the ones out there who are reading this, I thank you, even if you just happen to stumble upon it.
5 months into the ER
Listening to: Drift Away by the StonesWe, ER staff, throw solid parties, they're deadly. Especially last night for Julie's going away to the States. I learn to love the chaotic days when there's a resucitation going on in one room, an old man falling off his bed/cracking his face opened in the next room, and while a bizarre man being pinned down by several security guards so I could jammed a needle through his pants to sedate him. Still I find comfort in the people I work with (most of them at least), because that's team work. That is also why farewell parties are always so bittersweet yet awesome. We've been through some serious drama together, don't we deserve to party a little harder?
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When I logged in, I found 5 drafts, unfinished blog entries. This only means one thing: every time I try to write, I brain fart and a loss of words.
But I gotta write something,
anything, anything at all.
It's about Obama time. So glad he won, hopeful I must say. I'm sure the 106-year-old woman who went to vote feels that indeed the legacies of Lincoln and Martin Luther King Jr will continue to make history.
Well I'm going to Los Angeles with Q to see Gladys tomorrow. Time for San Diego road trip, Hollywood shopping, surfing and hang gliding!! Bring it California!
photograph of the day
Georgian Bay
Recently back from camping in Bruce Peninsula. It's one of the most beautiful places I've seen in Canada.
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I stumble across somebody else's blog and saw this personality test and decide to kill some time. Truth be told, everything is pretty much 50/50 except the fact that I'm not much of a 'feeler'.
Most people including myself have moments of being an introvert and extrovert. But when it comes to the category of thinking vs feeling, I wonder how I've gotten to be so out of touch with my feelings, or in fact, the lack there of.
There was a time as I recall that life was drama, and the additional outburst of unnecessary hormones. As I went on, somewhere down the road, I must've disposed those emotions into the garbage. Maybe it's what I do for a living?
Whatever the reason may be, I know I haven't completely tossed away my sensitivity, because they still come back once in a while, almost like santa, though they don't bare gifts, but to remind me that I'm still human.
question of the day
I'm no daily or weekly blogger, but this place does allow me to gather my thoughts on things that are happening at work or life in general.
This is my million dollar question of the day:
how would you like to pass on when you get old?
In the ICU where you're hooked onto machines and tubes coming out of your body? A long process of fighting cancer until your immune system is overly compromised? Having your leg amputated because you manage your diabetes poorly and catch an infection from the stump wound and die?
In light of this matter, personally, I like to have Alzeimer's and be VERY pleasantly confused (not like the ones who scream and try to run away). I'll be sweetly grateful even if the nurses turn on the tv or peel an orange for me. Hopefully by the time I'm far advance in the disease, somebody will have already made me a scrapbook with pictures and writings to remind me of how awesome I am.
the normal beginning
I've been enjoying my Monday to Friday schedule lately with one downfall: it's impossible to run errands. With shift work schedule, I can go to my appointments, groceries, do banking services and go to the gym on weekdays/ mornings. Now I have to beat the rush with everyone else.
4 weeks into my new job in the ER, nothing exciting happened since I'm still in class & buddied up with others. But I have a vibe that I'll love it.
Finally taking advantage of living in Toronto. Watching sports live is so much better than on TV. Jays vs. Yankees - could it be any dryer that people were holding picture of Madonna when A Rod was batting?! haha. The view from BMO field for TFC game was wicked, you could see Molson Amphi, the lake and downtown. Then Rogers Cup soon. And beer fest!!
Just missing camp, small town, nature... quietness.
LASIK
Laser-Assisted-In-Situ Keratomileusis: where a flap is surgically created on the top layer of the cornea; then using laser technology to reshape the cornea to mimic one’s prescription. The flap is aligned back to the original position. The end result? 20/20 vision!
Pardon me that I sound like I’m advertising. It’s about sparing me the pain of wearing glasses and contact lenses. Essentially every activity I do or enjoy: work, camping, traveling, work out – contact lenses dry my eyes out but wearing glasses, well, I’m not even gonna begin. Much as I expected, it was a rather uncomfortable procedure. I knew what the surgeon was doing to my eyes every single step of the way, I just wished I was completely knocked out by drugs.
It’s post-op day 4. My eyes are still a bit dry and bruising (red spots) from laser. But they will go away soon enough. Meanwhile I’m just on my way to check out the Much Music Video Award just outside my apartment, or at least the opening act! (since it’s hailing outside and street is packed)
